“You don’t love me well and I’m
too broken to notice when you
do. You are a steel dam and
I’m an open floodgate; you
break my self-esteem and I ruin
your few good days. Here we
are, monster and monster, all
teeth and claws and blood on
the ceiling, but I still crawl to
you when it hurts. You still talk
to me last before you sleep. Not
every day is bad, but I don’t
love you any less when it is.”—anne, how broken people love (via anneisrestless)
“One day we’ll both
forget the storms we danced through.
You’ll find a nice girl
to fall into peace with
and you’ll forget about the days
we lost our minds together.
I’ll be across the world
and still know the exact moment
I’ll pretend that I don’t
and I’ll forget you
the way I forget every dream
I’m not brave enough for.
I’ll meet someone who reminds
me of the years I gave my best
to a boy who held me like he meant it.
And I want you to know that it
could have been you.
That it almost was you,
but we didn’t know how to be good for each other
and how to stay that way.
In another world, it is you,
and we’re better for it.
I hope you know that I wanted that.
That a part of me always will.”—Y.Z, sinking ships and ghost town islands (via rustyvoices)
“Don’t fall for the boy who has
seen you makeup-free or with
a face scrunched-up with ugly,
uncontrollable laughter or tears;
the one you call your best friend.
Instead, fall for the ones that lift
out easily, the ones that wash
away with tough soap, the ones
that have only ever been in the
part of your heart meant for
romance. Don’t fall for the boy
who you need as a friend because
when he breaks your heart, who
will be the one to fix it?”—anne, fall for anyone but him (via anneisrestless)
Last night I thought I kissed the loneliness from out your belly button. I thought I did, but later you sat up, all bones and restless hands, and told me there is a knot in your body that I cannot undo.
I never know what to say to these things. “It’s okay.” “Come back to bed.” “Please don’t go away again.”
Sometimes you are gone for days at a time and it is all I can do not to call the police, file a missing person’s report, even though you are right there, still sleeping next to me in bed. But your eyes are like an empty house in winter: lights left on to scare away intruders.
Except in this case I am the intruder and you are already locked up so tight that no one could possibly jimmy their way in.
Last night I thought I gave you a reason not to be so sad when I held your body like a high note and we both trembled from the effort.
Some people, though, are sad against all reason, all sensibility, all love. I know better now. I know what to say to the things you admit to me in the dark, all bones and restless hands.
“It’s okay.” “You can stay in bed.” “Please come back to me again.”
“I stopped going to therapy
because I knew my therapist was right
and I wanted to keep being wrong.
I wanted to keep my bad habits
like charms on a bracelet.
I did not want to be brave.
I think I like my brain best
in a bar fight with my heart.
I think I like myself a little broken.
I’m ok if that makes me less loved.
I like poetry better than therapy anyway.
The poems never judge me
for healing wrong.”—-Clementine von Radics (via sputniked)
Q:A major concern in A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones is power. Almost everybody – except maybe Daenerys, across the waters with her dragons – wields power badly.
George R.R. Martin:Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it's not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn't ask the question: What was Aragorn's tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren't gone – they're in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles? In real life, real-life kings had real-life problems to deal with. Just being a good guy was not the answer. You had to make hard, hard decisions. Sometimes what seemed to be a good decision turned around and bit you in the ass; it was the law of unintended consequences. I've tried to get at some of these in my books. My people who are trying to rule don't have an easy time of it. Just having good intentions doesn't make you a wise king.
“I keep filling my hands with hips and skin and hair and none of them belong to you. Dear god, I miss you like empty walls and quiet car rides; everything feels wrong. You can’t come back and I can’t stop calling other men by your name.”—from the beautiful anneisrestless (via convulsingxpulses)
“I can’t ask you to stay indefinitely
but I won’t stop asking for more
time. The universe is full of empty
spaces and my hand shouldn’t be
one of them. My heart shouldn’t
be one of them; my hips, the
small of my back, the base of my
neck - what terrible craters to be
so empty, especially with you right
here. I’m not asking for forever,
just a little while longer - my
fingers in your hair should be
reason enough, but I’ll give you
a few more if you need them.”—anne, just a few more minutes (via anneisrestless)
“And another thing! How dare you
take the time to teach me how
someone like you could want me
only to teach me how someone
like you could un-want me just as
quickly. Look, I know it’s not your
responsibility, but one time you
said you thought you could fix me
and I never told you, but you were
right. And maybe your plan was
always just to build me up until
someone else could take over, and
maybe this ‘someone-else’ took too
long to show up, but I never
expected you to be the one to
give up. Being broken is so much
harder since you brought me
close to becoming unbroken.”—anne, an excerpt from the things I practiced yelling at you in the shower (via anneisrestless)